It still feels right..

After nearly 6 years of marriage, I still love to just sit and have a conversation with my wife. She is amazingly understanding. I stayed at school all day "doing my thing," but my favorite part of today were the few moments I sat on the edge of the bed, in the dark, just chatting with my wife before bed. I'm so blessed to have such a strong and supportive spouse. She is the inspiration for the title of this entry. Meaning, those seemingly unimportant, mundane moments that felt so exciting during the early dating period, still feel right after 11 years of being together.
School. That is the other, distant second thought on my mind. 7 days left in the classroom. It could not come fast enough. Either the program I am part of is really lacking some major elements, or I have just had enough and reached the "I am tired, every flaw is magnified" state. Either way, I am about 12 months away from becoming a PA-C and that is all that matters in the grand scheme of things. This next phase of learning is pretty much all on me. I am very comfortable with that since I feel the majority of my instructors are incompetent to teach in a reasonable manner. My one week rotation after finals will be in ophthalmology. Not a strong area of mine, so maybe it will help me learn some vital info for my future ER job. Then after a 2 week Christmas break/stress I get thrown in to a family practice clinic. Talk about hitting the ground running. A busy FP clinic during Flu season, ouch. More to learn I suppose.
Well I am tired and have an emergency medicine test tomorrow. I also suspect Lydia may be waking soon, so I mustn't tarry any longer. It is off to bed and I will give the last shout out to my Dad on his birthday. Happy Birthday Pops! (it's not like he reads my blog though)

A World Apart

Being separated from your child for the first time is a feeling like no other. It is like a part of me was taken and I am being held in shackles, unable to get it back. Although she is with her mother and only going to Texas for a week, my protective duty as a father has been taken from me. Now that I'm out of the picture, I must trust in God completely. Ahh, must have been his plan all along. Maybe I have been trusting in myself way to much lately. My heart goes out to all of the military men and women who must leave their children for months and years at a time. I cannot imagine the toll that takes on a persons life.
So here I sit. I must gather myself together and focus on the mounds of school work before me while Aubrey, her Mom and Lydia drive across the country. The dogs will get my semi-undivided attention for the first time in a long while. I plan on studying more than ever and getting back on a workout plan while I have extra time this week. But I know Friday will be here quickly and I will be on a plane to Austin. Therefore I mustn't tarry too long. I pray Aubrey and Lydia have a safe and enjoyable trip. I already can't wait to see both my girls again, but right now I feel a world apart.

Fall in Missouri

This very well could be our first and last Fall to live in Missouri. That is exciting and a little sad because it is so beautiful up here during the Fall. That is definitely one thing Texas is missing, the distinct seasons that hang around for a while. Nothing like walking outside in the 60 degree weather feeling a slight breeze while the bright orange and red leaves fall around you. There is just something comforting about this time of year.
Speaking of Fall, I'm officially on "Fall Break" starting today. We kicked it off last night with a nice bonfire at a classmates house. It was an absolute perfect night for it. Lydia experienced her first night out at a bonfire in a cow pasture. She must have enjoyed it because she didn't cry about it. We are going to try to go to Eureka Springs, AR tomorrow. Mainly to get out of Springfield for the day and experience some more of the beautiful Ozark Mountains. However I must not completely forget about my school because I have enough material to catch up on that would keep me busy for this entire break. I can't complain because I only have about 7 weeks left in the classroom! The amount of knowledge I have gained in this short amount of time is crazy. It is hard for me to distinguish what I have learned from what I already knew coming into the program. We had a lecturer tell us yesterday that the reason we do a clinical year is so we can attach what we have learned to an emotion. That emotion being a real person, this is how our brains make long lasting memories. This is why you can remember things so much better from times when we were really scared, excited, emotional.
My latest excitement is nicknamed Baby Girl. She seems to be getting smarter daily. Aubrey and I have a good balance on parenting. She is more nurturing while I like to challenge Lyd to do new things. I'm sure this girl will amaze me for years to come. Well I think I will wrap this up for now since I am hitting a writers block. Enjoy this amazing weather fellow blogger(s).

Back by Popular Demand..

All my readers can thank the infamous Coco for this comeback tour. I didn't think I had it in me and unfortunately I knew one day my unequivocal musings would leave my passionate fans only wanting more. So as I sit here and eat my cold breakfast at lunchtime while letting the hum-drum of the dryer do my work as a parent, I give you a glimpse into my life over the past 2 months.
I feel for all the stay at home mothers (and fathers) out there. At least with an infant, this existence as a parent is a bit desolate and a misnomer. Rewind 6 weeks from yesterday. Aubrey delivered a 7 Ib 14 oz little infant baby girl Lydia Marie. By Midnight, we knew she was not going to be a quiet baby. When she "mad" cries, I'm almost certain our neighbors next door can hear it. I'm not sure If it was the combination of being away from friends and family while preparing for one of the most difficult weeks in PA school all the while having this new screaming child, but I venture to say that that first week was the hardest of my life thus far. I was pushed to the limit, but God prevails always. As he promised, he did not give us anything we couldn't handle. On a brighter note, she is as sweet as she can be and we already could not imagine our lives without her.
As far as school goes, I completed 2 of 3 didactic semesters almost a month ago now. It really was the fastest semester of school I've ever had. I followed that up with a week seeing patients (mostly shadowing..blah) in Cardiology and then a week with the inpatient pulmonary/critical care clinicians. I enjoyed it overall and got to put some of my new knowledge to good use. I will say that it is usually awkward as the student going to see a patient. They are tired of being questioned, poked, examined and we are untimely thorough with our exams because that is how we are taught. But it is a right of passage for anyone in healthcare.
Present day, I am wrapping up a 2 week "break" before I start back on Monday with another intense semester. Aubrey is currently finishing her last shift at the bank. I think my coaxing worked because she has agreed to get a friend to babysit this evening so we can have sort of a date night! Well I best finish doing the dishes before the dryer stops. Adios y vaya con Dios.

I'm Back

So I have been very bad at keeping my blog updated. I knew the day would come eventually. This will be a very quick update while I am thinking about it all the while studying for an orthopedics test tomorrow. I also have a pharmacology quiz, OSCE practical, SOAP note due and Clinical assessment test this week. Good times. Just returned from my rectal and vagina filled weekend in St. Louis (all class related). As expected, even for a semi-experienced medical professional like myself, It was a little awkward. But now I am legit and I can perform a pelvic exam, do a pap smear, rectovaginal exam, testicular exam, and palpate your prostate all before lunch.

On the personal front, Aubrey had her 37 wk check today and is dilated to about 1cm. Therefore making some progress. I expect our seedling to arrive really near the expected due date. I know Aub will be ready to express that little package of moving arms and legs. I knew this summer would go fast and so far it is surpassing my expectations. Just going to hold on for the ride! Back to the powerpoints.

Thunderstorms and Texas

Woke up this morning to the sound of rumbling and darkness outside my bedroom window. I don't mind sleeping during storms but when I checked the radar, there is a line of storms from Springfield to Texas. Oddly enough it is the same path to which we will set sail on(hopefully not literally) in a few short hours on our trek back home for the week.

So many things to do before I get going. The dogs smell and therefore will need a bath before I ride in the car with them for 8 hours. On a brighter note I found out that I will now have an enormous reading assignment hanging over my head until classes start back up. And when I say enormous I mean expansive to the tune of about 600 pages in 2 different books(1 of which I haven't even purchased yet). So then the question begs, will I ever get an actual break before December of 2011?

Well you can't stop my excitement for Texas at this point. Thunderstorms, 600 pages or reading, nah. We have family, friends and a pseudo-nephew to see!

So much has happened...

..Since my last post. Today is May 11th and that means that I finished my 1st semester of PA school yesterday! Wow, what a blur. It was a little bittersweet on the ending considering I felt like I was cheated out of a proper head and neck anatomy section. My prof, in order to curve some of the less capable students' grades, allowed us to make up our own questions for our final anatomy test. Well thats all fine and good when you just want a good grade, but this is grad school and my future ability depends on how much I actually learn. Yeah it goes against every feeling one has during undergrad, but it is so much different when you are if a professional program. Oh well, enough of that, I will learn it eventually on my own. I should be elated that I am actually finished with the "hardest" semester of the year. Although I studied more than ever before, the content just wasn't that difficult overall. The lack of time is definitely the biggest challenge.

Aubrey and I are also excited to meet the newest DuToit this weekend when we go back to Texas. A bit of a shocker that he is already here, but we are glad we get to meet him before we spend the summer back in Missouri. And maybe I can perfect some of my skills before my own child comes into this world. Who is moving and thrusting almost all the time. Last night I looked over at Aub's belly and I could see it moving underneath a blanket. Pretty amazing and exciting to know we are getting closer to holding our little nina in our arms. Well it is a beautiful day for the moment and I want to enjoy it because it thunderstormed yesterday and is supposed to for the rest of the week. Hasta luego.